"Marriage- sheer bliss or woe is me?"
Marriage- sheer bliss or woe is me?
I have learnt a lot in the two short years that I have been married. I have realized that many misunderstand marriage, others hate the very thought of being stuck with the same person for a lifetime, and others have found a way to go through the day to day going- on’s that make up this fragile but weirdly unique institution. Before I say which one of these categories I think that I fall into, I would like to explore the topic further.
Some men jokingly refer to marriage as the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. I laugh and wince at this observation. Partly because there is some truth to it, but the other part of me is blushing in embarrassment. Is it really that bad for you men out there? Gosh, what are we women doing wrong, if that is the case?
Love it or hate it, marriage is not going to go out of fashion anytime soon. People scorn at it with all its trappings and politics, but we all can not help but feel giddy when at a wedding and you see the love that exudes from the two ‘poor’ souls at the front of the altar. Their happiness is contagious, and we all know that many singles are at that very moment gearing them selves for the reception and that classic bouquet throwing moment in the programme. I giggle just thinking about the sea of expectant faces that stood behind me when I was preparing to throw the bouquet at my own wedding. It was as hilarious as it was kind of sad. Women really believe this stuff. Guess every woman just wants to know that one day she will be the absolute centre of attention on her own special day and be the love of someone else’s life.
Of course the fantasy of the wedding day is just exactly that, fantasy. Very soon it will be time for the two lovebirds to start seriously building their home, and learning to navigate their way around the landmines that often characterize this bond. I used to laugh at the fact that some married couples can end up in the therapists chair over the toilet seat being left up or the toothpaste tube being squeezed from the top and not the bottom. Hah! I am not laughing anymore. Marriage has been a constant lesson in patience for me. One has to constantly make the choice to not blow a gasket at every little chance, because believe it or not it does slowly start to drive a woman mad if she has to keep picking up his socks that are slovenly left on the lounge floor. I think I now have scientific proof that the cleaning gene is exactly that, a gene- not every body gets it!
Whew! Now that I got that off my chest, I actually feel a lot better. I bet you are still keen to know which of those categories I mentioned at the top I think I actually fall into. Well, although I am sometimes at my absolute wits end, I got lucky in love, God lucky. I have actually learnt so much about myself and about my partner. It is the type of growth that only a really mature, imperfect but fulfilling relationship can give you. So I guess that means that I found a way to go through the day to day going- on’s that make up this fragile but weirdly unique institution. And I have loved the experience, warts and all.