A note to my daughter on self worth

I love nothing more than to watch you sleep. It is in these moments where I pray for your future, a future I pray to share with you...God willing.  You are too young to read any of this now, but I know how quickly time passes. So while I still remember to tell you, please read this note from your Mom.

My dearest Tumi

When you were born, I used to panic about what I could possibly teach you about self worth, self confidence and being assertive, when I struggled with all of this myself.  I thought if I could just be a little more perfect, a little more assured- then I would be ready to be your Mother...but I've finally accepted that it isn't my job to be a perfect Mom. I can only promise to be present, loving and honest.

People think that just because I have been on TV since I was 14, it automatically means I have oodles of confidence or that I am used to people complimenting me and telling me how much they love me. Quite to the contrary actually; I grew up around people who thought it would be better for my character if they pointed out my faults and failings, rather than emphasise my achievements because they believed that this would prevent me from becoming big headed.

As a result of this,  I trained myself to shrink back and blend in. I deliberately dressed in a way that would ensure that I never stood out, I never raised my voice or my hand in class. I feared my own potential and I even pretended  that I didn't have an opinion about most things.

I  promise to do my best to teach you first to love yourself; second to not pursue perfection, it is a fallacy and third to know and truly believe that nobody can define your life, you define that for yourself.

You are destined for greatness.

Love Mama.


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